I don't want to go home.

Some weeks fly by.  I don't feel like that happened here.  I can't complain that I didn't do enough, see enough, feel enough.  I "got my eyes full" of home, as my dad would say.  And yet, I just am not ready to go home.  I could extend my visit another full week and would still not be ready.  I think the reason for that is: this is home.  Carrboro is where I live and enjoy day-to-day life -- all the opportunities I always wanted to have.  A decent salary, public transportation, plenty of places to get vegan food, free classes, friends.  Carrboro is great, but it is not home.

I remember feeling similarly last year.  Last year's trip was quite different -- I remember being a little bit bored, but at the same time completely content and relaxed.  And I remember thinking it would be forever until I came home again.  Somehow that year seemed to pass even more quickly than this past week.

I wonder sometimes if I made the right decision, and I suppose I did.  Even if we didn't move to Carrboro, I would have constantly second guessed and wondered what could have been.  Now, I am on the other side of that predicament.  I guess I could always go home.  I think sometimes that I will after I get my education completed, but that seems so far away that it is completely overwhelming and unmanageable.

I'm afraid that tomorrow might be full of tears and an overwhelming feeling of homesickness, even before I board the train.